Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Zoe Quinn is Not Your Property

A lot has been written, from the New York Times to Cracked, on the hate mob known as GamerGate. I was personally harassed by them, in a particularly transphobic, racist, and rape-culture-embracing manner myself, and no I do not need to offer "proofs" of this, the proof of HaterGate harassment is all a matter of public record that is easily accessible and blatantly obviously. What I want to talk about lies at the heart of the cornerstone of HaterGate and other such anti-woman hate mobs, the desire of men to control women.
Zoe Quinn - the "patient zero" who was the first victim of this injustice, a really awesomely brave woman - Zoe's relationship was her private business, as any woman's romantic and sexual life is. Women have every right to control their own bodies however they please, because a woman's body belongs to that woman and to her alone, her life is hers to live and no one else's to own or control. Her stalker ex-boyfriend couldn't handle that idea, and found a bunch of men who also couldn't handle it to help him try to regain control of her through harassment, using the Internet as their tool and conducting all their business very publicly. What he did is well documented, and no amount of HaterGate lies can erase all that evidence, Quinn has since had to make several police reports in the face of violent, often sexualized threats against her, all because she allegedly chose to have romantic and sexual encounters with people who weren't Eron Gjoni.
Eron did not and does not own Zoe Quinn. No man does. Women own themselves. So if Zoe chooses to not spend time with him? too fucking bad, man! move the fuck on with your life! You are not entitled to her time, and if you are willing to make her suffer like this you definitely don't deserve it!
The relentless harassment, anger, and violence towards women like Quinn and Anita Sarkeesian - whose "crime" was asking for less sexism in video games - is the reaction of men raised in a male supremacist culture, in what we all hope and demand will be the twilight of that oppression. They were kept separated from women, beaten into a stereotyped male role, promised supremacy, hidden from the realities of sexism, and they are bewildered and angry that women - who grew up experiencing sexism, being told that girls can't do this or that, being hit on by old men by age 12, and so on - these boyish men expected to keep their male privilege and are seeing women stand up and demand equality, and their reaction is rage. But you can't turn back the clock, boys. Women have a vote, women have money, women will not surrender power, women will have equality. Women will not be your play toys or your slaves. Women will be themselves for themselves and have nothing to do with you, women will be your equals, women will be your bosses.
And that's really the heart of this problem. Zoe was punished by the hate mob for being an independent woman, who made her own games, who dated who she wanted to, who speaks her mind. And all the hate against her hurt her but it didn't stop her, and others will rise up and have her back because that's how sisterhood fucking works, shitlords. 
Seriously, in my last relationship, my partner was dating a woman besides me, and you know what I said? Awesome! I like the lady she was dating and all three of us are still friends. I'm not saying don't be monogamous if that's your thing, but I honestly cannot understand the idea that what someone does with their own body when you aren't around is any of your fucking business. And if someone dumps you, I sure as shit don't understand why you can't just fucking accept that they have a right to their own life and let them go live it.  If someone isn't happy around you, you should WANT them to leave. Why would you ever want to be around someone who doesn't want to be with you?!
look, love and break-ups hurt and all, but you need to be a man and respect a woman for what she is - a person who is equal to you and doesn't belong to you. Women own themselves. A woman's life is hers to live.

If you want to support Zoe Quinn's work, check out her game, Depression Quest: http://www.depressionquest.com

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